wanna go halves on a baby?
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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