I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
