can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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