he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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