I am in a vortex of obligation.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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