I'm drive I can fine osifer
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
