garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize