Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
i think we sleep fucked last night...
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
