I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
NoShamevember. You game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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