Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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