and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
