Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
