pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Randomize
