yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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