i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
