Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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