the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
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