Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(810): View more from Michigan

nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy

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(206): View more from Washington

Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.

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(509): View more from Washington

I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420

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(859): View more from Kentucky

I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."

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(505): View more from New Mexico

We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"

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(541): View more from Oregon

apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...

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(909): View more from California

I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"

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(912): View more from Georgia

Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.

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