Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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