when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
We left an ass print on the piano.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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