why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
