im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize