So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
