Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
