It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
