TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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