capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
