How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
you win again, gameday.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
