I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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