Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry NickelbackSux8D hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(757): View more from Virginia

I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.

(734): View more from Michigan

I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"

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(703): View more from Virginia

just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?

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(980): View more from North Carolina

My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(770): View more from Georgia

I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable

(678): View more from Georgia

not having any beer money sounds even more miserable

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(348): View more from

I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say

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(438): View more from Quebec

Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.

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(631): View more from New York

This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.

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(631): View more from New York

Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour

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