I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
