Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
