The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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