Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
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just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
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Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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