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• (214): View more from Texas

  so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings

  (1-214): View more from Texas

  dont u have athletes foot?

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ

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• (269): View more from Michigan

  So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow

  (1-269): View more from Michigan

  Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead

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  23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.

  (1-720): View more from Colorado

  You sound pretty unsure about all of this.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.

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  These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious

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• (518): View more from New York

  I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  i've created a new STD.

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  What's your ideal size in a man?

  (765): View more from Indiana

  I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......

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• (562): View more from California

  I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  thanks... i think. haha

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit

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