so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
i've created a new STD.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit