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• (303): View more from Colorado

  Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger

  (708): View more from Illinois

  You are the reason we need health care reform

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• (619): View more from California

  my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.

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  If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (503): View more from Oregon

  I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.

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• (763): View more from Minnesota

  I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.

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• (845): View more from New York

  im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night

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• (714): View more from California

  the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab

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  23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know

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• (563): View more from Iowa

  I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.

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• (518): View more from New York

  Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day

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• (530): View more from California

  After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?

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• (512): View more from Texas

  Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.

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• (925): View more from California

  Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.

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