even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
