so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
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I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
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Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.