We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.