Texts From Last Night

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  (831): View more from California

  atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.

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  (831): atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex. http://tfl.nu/0vib
  Replies (31) Good night (599) Bad night (6771)
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  (516): View more from New York

  you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish

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  (516): you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish http://tfl.nu/rp8q
  Replies (17) Good night (597) Bad night (4087)
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  (646): View more from New York

  I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"

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  (646): I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive" http://tfl.nu/8zeu
  Replies (19) Good night (1837) Bad night (4061)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  He felt like a one man threesome

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  (303): He felt like a one man threesome http://tfl.nu/1ehs
  Replies (17) Good night (9074) Bad night (921)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side

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  (918): Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side http://tfl.nu/owir
  Replies (24) Good night (1248) Bad night (7590)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."

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  (919): She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..." http://tfl.nu/ca9j
  Replies (17) Good night (880) Bad night (5799)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..

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  (443): I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night.. http://tfl.nu/hua7
  Replies (3) Good night (2051) Bad night (942)
• Favorite

  (641): View more from Iowa

  I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.

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  (641): I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob. http://tfl.nu/r7qm
  Replies (9) Good night (693) Bad night (3762)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.

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  (316): You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times. http://tfl.nu/0lcm
  Replies (3) Good night (770) Bad night (458)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?

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  (937): I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date? http://tfl.nu/q2p4
  Replies (7) Good night (439) Bad night (2022)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept

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  (502): How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept http://tfl.nu/59ls
  Replies (13) Good night (441) Bad night (1548)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.

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  (847): This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird. http://tfl.nu/h1he
  Replies (3) Good night (741) Bad night (388)
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  (530): View more from California

  Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish

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  (530): Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish http://tfl.nu/hirn
  Replies (4) Good night (615) Bad night (417)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close

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  (312): When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close http://tfl.nu/wkbe
  Replies (12) Good night (1527) Bad night (344)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.

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  (423): True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do. http://tfl.nu/f7pn
  Replies (2) Good night (631) Bad night (222)

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