Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
if only i could text you this smell
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize