i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize