I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
