That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
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