yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
