We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
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It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
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He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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