Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
