How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
