actually, I'm a sock model
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
