Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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