He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
