She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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