The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
She even gives head with a lisp.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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