He uses pillows to masturbate.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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