Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
