I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
