just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize