Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
