I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
she looked like the before picture.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
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