im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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