i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
