Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize