i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
My Higher Power is John Stamos
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize