and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
