where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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