we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
