I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize