Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
