worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
