i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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