So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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