Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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